The Fellowship of the Morons
by Samhoku
Summary: In this story Samantha and Veronica both end up going to middle earth to help Frodo. They had just returned home from helping Thorin and co. so they where very reluctant participants. Beware: This is a self insert. Don't like, don't read. We are not fangirls, so please give us a chance. This is based on the story called the Unexpected Members in the Hobbit area.
1. Chapter 1

The Fellowship of the Morons

By Samhoku

**Disclaimer: I do not own this story. The only people I own are myself and my sister. I am trying to keep this realistic as my sister and I are not fangirls.  
**

Chapter

Samantha and Veronica had just gotten back from Middle Earth. Samantha looked up from her sewing just in time to see a grey man with a long beard and a pointy hat come by. Sam ducked underneath the desk and whispered to her sister, "Didn't we just get back from helping Bilbo?"

Veronica hid under the blankets and yelled, "We are not home!"

Gandalf poked his head in their room anyways, "Time to come help with Frodo!"

"Don't we get a say?" Samantha asked with mild irritation. She had gone to wearing skirts all the time and had managed to get her skirt tangled in the folding chair.

Gandalf ignored the question and transported them all to Middle Earth. They where all in the wagon with him. Samantha had her arms folded over her chest and was glaring into outer space.

Veronica was holding a stick that looked suspiciously like a water shooting stick. Suddenly her face brightened and she grinned devilishly at Gandalf, "I have a Hobbit be good stick."

Gandalf said dryly, "Good for you." Then he pushed them both into the back with the fireworks before they got to Frodo. Samantha gave an unearthly howl after getting her arm sat on by her sister.

Gandalf laughed to himself, then he put his head down and tried his best to look like an innocent old man before they got to Frodo.

"You're late." Frodo said with mock irritation, trying his best to look fierce. His sharp blue eyes caught movement in the back and asked, "Who are they?"

Gandalf looked at Samantha and Veronica and chuckled, "Samantha, get your skirt over your legs."

Samantha stuck her tongue out immaturely at Gandalf and covered her legs, "If you hadn't pushed me back here we wouldn't have the problem with my legs, now, would we?"

Gandalf ignored Samantha then did his script, "Wizards are never late, Frodo baggins, neither is he early, he arrives precisely when he means to."

Samantha used her hand to mock the wizard and Veronica whacked her sister's shoulder lightly. Samantha gave her sister a fierce glare.

Frodo jumped in the cart and caused it to shake, hugging the older wizard with enthusiasm and laughing along with the wizard.

Samantha suddenly realized where they were going and a huge smile split across her face, "Are we going to see Bilbo?!"

Gandalf chuckled and looked at Samantha then Veronica whos expression mirrored Samantha's. Gandalf nodded and smiled at them in a kind way, "Yes, we are going to see Bilbo."

Samantha and Veronica both cheered and hugged each other. Samantha realized what she was doing and slowly looked at her sister before detaching herself from her.

Frodo laughed openly at the two strange girls. The oldest one especially seemed strange. She was wearing mens clothes. The one called Samantha was wearing a skirt...

Samantha muttered, "A dress isn't very practical if I know what we are doing..." She looked at Gandalf, knowing the wizard would have heard her.

Gandalf smiled a bit and said to her in her head, _"We will find you a tunic and breeches again. Never fear."_


	2. Chapter 2

The Fellowship of the Morons

By Samhoku

**Disclaimer: I do not own this story. The only people I own are myself and my sister. I am trying to keep this realistic as my sister and I are not fangirls.  
**

Chapter

Gandalf looked at the girls and muttered, "Set off the fireworks." He didn't want to disappoint the children, but he had momentarily forgotten what he was supposed to think to make them go off.

Veronica whispered back, "Which one?" She didn't know which one to grab and set off. Samantha solved the problem by grabbing a random one and setting it off.

Frodo held back a smile as he glanced at Gandalf. He had heard the entire exchange and found it quite amusing. When Frodo got out of the wagon and ran off he had a small smile. Gandalf left then came back with two strange creatures. Not Hobbit, not the height of men, nor the height of dwarves or elves.

Gandalf got out of the wagon and Veronica squirted him with her be good stick, "Gandalf be good!" Gandalf waved his arms around, his tunic around his arms flying as he tried to block the water. It looked quite comical.

Samantha whacked her sister and got out of the wagon...well...more like falling out. She stepped on her skirt and stumbled a few steps before putting her arms out and saying, "Ta da!"

Veronica grinned and followed her sister out, mocking her until she actually lost her balance and collided with her sister sending them both into a heap on the ground. Samantha shoved her sister off and whacked her in the shoulder before getting up and walking regally to where Gandalf was standing.

Veronica laid on the ground and laughed for a couple minutes before getting up to join her sister and the silly old man.

Bilbo yelled stuff out the door and Gandalf smiled, "And what about a few very old friends?"

Bilbo opened the door and a smile split across his face when he saw Samantha, Veronica, and Gandalf, "Oh, dear friends!" He came out and hugged all three of them in turn.

Soon they where allowed in and Samantha and Veronica looked around his cute little hobbit hole. Veronica said with a smile, "It looks much different then when we last saw it. Of course we where invaded by dwarves."

"Would you girls like wine?" Bilbo asked, smiling up at his two friends.

Samantha smiled, "Just tea, thank you." She walked around and ran into the lamp at the same time as Gandalf, but in the other room.

Veronica had seen them both and held in a laugh as she went to look at the maps, "You collect maps? I remember that you liked them, but now it seems as if you are collecting as many as you can. Hey, you even have one of Narnia!"

Bilbo chuckled and placed the little maps away, "Yes, yes...Narnia...beautiful Narnia. I have only been there once you know, but I did enjoy my stay."

Samantha got herself and Gandalf some tea, drinking it quietly until Lobilia Sacksville baggines knocked on the door. Samantha jumped and covered her own mouth to keep a squeak from escaping.

Bilbo flattened himself against the wall and said animatedly, "I am not at home."

Gandalf raised an eyebrow skeptically along with Veronica until Bilbo explained. Samantha drank her tea and her eyes darted towards the door that sounded as if a battering ram was smacking into it. Honestly? Samantha was afraid of the little hobbit women.


	3. Chapter 3

The Fellowship of the Morons

By Samhoku

**Disclaimer: I do not own this story. The only people I own are myself and my sister. I am trying to keep this realistic as my sister and I are not fangirls.  
**

Chapter

"I'm old Gandalf. I know I don't look it, but I am beginning to feel it in my heart. I feel like butter, stretched across too much bread. I need a holiday, a very long holiday. And I am not sure if I will return, in fact I mean not to." The old hobbit said this with determination in his eyes.

Samantha seemed surprised and she tilted her head, "You are leaving Hobbiton?" Then she realized what they where doing, finally. This was the Fellowship of the Ring.

Veronica raised an eyebrow at her sister, obviously she had already figured this out. Probably after Gandalf pushed them into the back of the cart.

Bilbo nodded to Samantha and gave her a small smile, "Yes, dear Samantha. I am going to stay with the elves." He fingered the ring a bit more then sighed.

* * *

Gandalf was setting off fireworks and causing little children, and Veronica, happiness.

Samantha was following Pippin and Merry around. Once they found out that she had known Bilbo before, they became fast friends. Besides the fact that Samantha shared the same wicked sense of humor as them.

Pippin got in the cart with some help from Samantha, "Which one?"

Merry corrected Pippin when he grabbed a tiny one, "No, no, the big one!" He looked around hyperly as he waited.

Pippin grabbed the dragon shaped one and Samantha gave the hobbit an odd look, "We are going to be in so much trouble, Pippin, if we get caught."

Pippin gave her a huge, devilish grin, "We won't get caught! We never got caught before."

Samantha looked uneasy but followed them to the tent. All of this seemed very daja vu like.

Pippin and Merry argued until the tent went flying up through the air. Samantha screeched and ducked. Pippin put out the fire on Samantha's skirt. She stood their with her arms folded over her chest, glaring at the small hobbit.

Pippin gave her an innocent smile then squealed like a girl when Gandalf grabbed his and Merry's ears while giving Samantha a stern look, "Meriadock Brandybuck, Pergin Took, and Samantha Ross. I should have known."

Samantha and Merry where soon washing dishes while Pippin dried. Samantha grinned at Pippin when he came to get the next stack, "We won't get caught, eh?"

Pippin laughed and shook his head, nudging his new friend. Merry shook his head at them, trying to be the serious one of the two. Samantha mimed Merry then flicked water at him.

Veronica was sitting by Gandalf, watching as Bilbo was giving his speech. Gandalf looked at Veronica then looked back at Samantha and the hobbits to make sure that they where behaving themselves.

Samantha had dunked Pippin's head under the water and had just let him up, she looked innocently at Gandalf. Pippin shook his head like a wet dog and Merry face palmed.

Oh yes, the three had made friends, and it was probably a deadly friendship.


	4. Chapter 4

The Fellowship of the Morons

By Samhoku

**Disclaimer: I do not own this story. The only people I own are myself and my sister. I am trying to keep this realistic as my sister and I are not fangirls.  
**

Chapter

Samantha saw Bilbo disappear and didn't act concerned. Veronica seemed to have forgotten this part, she grabbed her sister and almost made them both loose their balance, "Where is Bilbo?!"

Samantha refrained from hitting her sister and pried herself loose, "I would think he is back home. That would be the sensible thing."

"He just said he felt thin! What if, 'Poof', into thin air! What if he died?" Veronica fretted until her sister backhanded her in the head.

Samantha smiled sweetly and ducked when her sister took a whack at her, "Veronica, Bilbo went home, remember?"

It dawned on Veronica and she grinned, "Oh, yeah. Now I remember."

Pippin and Merry looked from one girl to the other with a funny expression. Pippin asked, "Are you...seers?" He looked at them curiously.

Samantha ruffled the hobbits hair affectionately, not degradingly like Boramier would do to Frodo later, "Nope. Just logical."

Pippin whacked playfully at Samantha's hand and then dunked his hands back in the water, Samantha switched to rinsing the dishes.

Veronica went and tried to make the place come back under control, which was a very difficult task.

* * *

"Pippin, this is a very bad idea." Samantha said, looking at the things they where picking.

Pippin grinned, "No it isn't. He loves it when we help him by ste..borrowing some of the food. Right Merry?"

Merry grinned back at his cousin and nodded at Samantha, "Yep, Pippin tells the truth."

They heard barking dogs and all three bolted. Samantha asked with irritation lacing her voice, "If it isn't wrong then why are we running?!"

Pippin ran into Frodo and Samantha almost collided with her sister.

"Frodo! Merry, Samantha, it is Frodo Baggins." Pippin said in a cheerful voice.

"Get off em!" Sam heaved Pippin off of Frodo then squared off with Samantha, "Why don't you keep them in line?"

Samantha gave the small, large, hobbit a smile, "Because, its more fun to join in with their craziness."

Veronica sighed heavily and face palmed. All of them took off again and fell down the hill. Samantha was the only one who managed to stop. She watched as they all tumbled down the hill and by a mushroom patch. Samantha giggled at her sister and slid down the hill a bit more gracefully, until she reached the bottom, then she stumbled out into the road.

Frodo yelled, "Get off the road! Quick!" He leapt into the safe area along with the other Hobbits and Veronica. Samantha climbed up a tree that had plenty of leaves and hid.

The dark rider came and sniffed around. Samantha shivered and felt a cold presence come over her. She looked at her sister and Veronica nodded. She had felt it as well.

After the dark rider was scared away they all took off.

"What was that?" Merry asked. He looked at Samantha then Frodo.

"What is going on?" Pippin asked as he stumbled down the hill, almost bumping into Samantha.

"That black rider was looking for something, or someone...Frodo?" Merry and Frodo looked at each other, both very serious.

"Get down!" Pippin yelled, he ducked and everyone hit the dirt.

"Sam and I must get to Bri." Frodo looked at his cousin with distress.

"Huckleberry Ferry, follow me." Merry said with urgency.

This was about to get interesting.


	5. Chapter 5

The Fellowship of the Morons

By Samhoku

**Disclaimer: I do not own this story. The only people I own are myself and my sister. I am trying to keep this realistic as my sister and I are not fangirls.  
**

Chapter

As they ran Samantha became winded and had to take her inhaler. She more or less fell over the fence then tripped unto the raft, suddenly glad for the tunic and pants that Gandalf had gotten her.

Veronica had been the first one their with Merry and Pippin. Samantha and Sam where right behind them.

"Run Frodo!"

"Jump!"

Frodo leapt into unto the raft and they all watched as the dark riders screamed and then ran off down the path.

"How far to the nearest crossing?" Frodo asked with concern lacing his voice.

"The Brandywine bridge, twenty miles." Merry answered, watching the dark shapes disappear into the night.

* * *

It was raining when they got their. Of course it would be raining. Samantha was glaring into outer space, wishing they where not standing in the rain. The nosy door keeper answered it and looked at Samantha.

Samantha pointed down at Frodo, "This is the leader of our company, I think you wish to speak with him."

Veronica whispered harshly, "Be nice!"

Samantha and Veronica wound up pinching each other as Frodo spoke to the nosy door man.

Soon they all came in and the Hobbits looked for the Prancing Pony. They all walked in, the poor old man didn't know who Gandalf was for a moment. The old man shook his head, "He hasn't been here for 6 weeks."

They all had a mini huddle and Sam asked the question plaguing their minds, "What do we do now?"

"That man has been doing nothing but staring at us." Sam said, glaring at the man in the corner.

Samantha and Veronica didn't look to concerned, and that bothered the hobbits a little. Why where they not concerned? Someone staring at you is pretty creepy.

"That man in the corner, who is he?" Frodo asked the old man with slight curiosity.

"He is one of them Rangers, queer folk they are." The old man went on to explain and Samantha had to hold in a snort. Yeah, queer. Memory loss at convenient times was pretty queer too.

Frodo suddenly grabbed Pippin and the whole chao's thing happened. As soon as Aragorn lugged Frodo into the room Samantha and Veronica followed at a calm face while the more aggressive hobbits came in with weapons.

Sam said something that sounds like a bunch of jarbled letters. Samantha looked at the small round hobbit and tilted her head, "What?"

Aragorn apparently understood the hobbit, "You have a stout heart little one, but that won't protect you."

They all stayed in the room with Aragorn that night. Samantha stayed sitting up the whole night, her blanket wrapped around her and she glanced at Frodo.

Frodo had sat right up, terrified at the screaming noise, "What are they?"

"They are Nazgul, Ring Wrathe, neither living nor dead. They where once great kings of men, but they fell to the power of the ring." Aragorn answered, looking back outside, "They will never stop hunting you."


	6. Chapter 6

The Fellowship of the Morons

By Samhoku

**Disclaimer: I do not own this story. The only people I own are myself and my sister. I am trying to keep this realistic as my sister and I are not fangirls.  
**

Chapter

They where all running over the plains, dragging an unfortunate pony along behind them. Sam asked Frodo, "Where is he leading us?"

"To Rivendell Master Gamgee." Aragorn said with a small smile.

"Did you hear that? We are going to see the elves!" Sam said with awe and happiness in his voice. The hobbit had always wanted to see the elves, now he would get his chance.

* * *

"Gentlemen, we do not stop till nightfall." Aragorn said as he looked back at the hobbits. Veronica was by Aragorn and Samantha had been leaning on the pony.

"What about breakfast?" Pippin asked with indignation.

"You already had it." Aragorn said simply, watching the hobbits.

"We have had one, yes, but what about second breakfast?" Pippin asked with a know-it-all voice.

Aragorn refrained from rolling his eyes and he walked off, beckoning Veronica to follow him. Veronica picked an apple and threw it. Merry caught the apple and the other one smacked Pippin in the head.

"Pippin!" Merry exclaimed with irritation, the youngest hobbit wasn't keeping up very well.

Samantha trudged along behind them, when they got the weathertop Samantha stopped, almost refusing to go up their. She remembered this part, Frodo would get stabbed with a poison blade.

Veronica gave her sister a look then followed them up the place. Samantha followed behind her sister carefully. She didn't like this one bit. But Veronica still had her Hobbit be good stick, maybe it could turn into a Rider be good stick.

Aragorn gave them all swords and daggers to use. Samantha got a bow and arrows, when she gave Aragorn a questioning look he said, "You will probably do better with that then a sword, am I correct?"

Samantha nodded once, she knew how to use a bow, but she was surprised when he gave her an extra weapon, he explained this one as well, "In case you need to do hand to hand combat."

Samantha nodded again then looked at her sister. Veronica had 5 or 6 daggers and one sword. Now her sister was armed and dangerous to herself and others.

* * *

"Put it out you fools!" Frodo yelled and stomped all over the fire like a madman. Samantha couldn't believe her eyes! The Dark Riders where afraid of fire! And Frodo just put it out. She could have smacked the hobbit.

Veronica face palmed and they heard the riders scream in triumph. They all ran into the middle of the circle and stood back to back. Samantha climbed a statue and place herself on top, notching an arrow. She doubted it would do much, but maybe it would distract them a little.

As the dark riders came in a feeling of dread descended upon the place. These things where very evil and they could not be killed by anything. They could be wounded and have to return to their master, but they could not be killed. Not until their master was.


	7. Chapter 7

The Fellowship of the Morons

By Samhoku

**Disclaimer: I do not own this story. The only people I own are myself and my sister. I am trying to keep this realistic as my sister and I are not fangirls.  
**

Chapter

It was all over faster then they could blink, Frodo was stabbed and screaming in pain and Aragorn had set all the Riders on fire. Veronica's water stick helped very little, but at least it helped. Once Samantha discovered the fire she lit her arrows on fire and shot them.

"He was stabbed by a Morgul Blade." Aragorn said gravely, he threw down the handle when it disappeared into the air. He picked up Frodo, "This is beyond my skills, we need Elvish medicine." Aragorn started walking briskly and put the small hobbit on the pony. Samantha was so mad at herself, she couldn't keep Frodo from being hurt. Veronica was mad and sad with herself, but she knew that wouldn't help them now.

They all ran through the woods and Frodo called out for Gandalf. The poor Hobbit was delirious! The old wizard wasn't near them. Samantha remembered the movies and realized that Gandalf would be being beat the crud out of by now.

"Is he going to die?" Pippin asked when they stopped. The hobbit certainly looked like he was going to die, it was a perfectly logical question.

"Sam! And Samantha!" He called both people over and explained the Athalas to them. Sam took Samantha and showed her where to look. Samantha found quite a bit before she heard a women talking to Aragorn. Great, it was his future girlfriend.

Samantha looked at Arwen as she came. Arwen walked in a ura of light. Frodo made a funny squeaking noise like a rat. Samantha turned around in a full circle so no one could see her obvious amusement.

No one appreciated her morbid sense of humor. She was instantly berated by Merry and Pippin. Samantha did feel bad for Frodo and was terrified that he would die, and that was probably one of the biggest reasons of her humor. Whenever she had stress or fear her humor came full force.

Arwen ran off with Frodo and the rest of them bolted, trying to find a safe place to cross. They fell into a hole and tumbled down it, this spot looked like they should remember it.

Samantha felt stunned, they had gone this way when they had been chased by the Orcs that where serving the Pale Orc.

They ran down their and came just in time to see Elrond healing Frodo. They all wandered around aimlessly the full time of his healing.

When they found out that Frodo was better Sam and Veronica where the first two at his side. Veronica had been OCDing endlessly for hours on end.

Frodo was hardly even better, but they would be on a quest soon enough. Samantha and Veronica where the only two females allowed in the council. Aragorn had arranged it along with Gandalf. They both trusted the girls very much, even though they both seemed like very odd people.


	8. Chapter 8

The Fellowship of the Morons

By Samhoku

**Disclaimer: I do not own this story. The only people I own are myself and my sister. I am trying to keep this realistic as my sister and I are not fangirls.  
**

**Reviewers: Thank you for your feedback, it is appreciated. Dear Frodo: I am not sure what top heavy plot means.**

**An Apology: I did not realize that their was now an OC setting, I updated that. And in this chapter my mind is fuzzy on precisely how the council went. So bear with me, please.**

Chapter

As they all sat down in the council area Samantha ended up sitting by Boreamier, she didn't like this. She remembered perfectly well what weird speech Boramier would do. So she ended up sitting their and glaring into outer space. Veronica had figured out why Gandalf put her and her sister into a separate place. They did not belong in the Middle Earth relm, but these people wouldn't know about earth. Well, no one but the elves or wizards.

Suddenly Boreamier burst into his speech about how Gondor protected everyone. Samantha refrained from aiming a kick at Boreamier when Elrond gave her the angry eyebrow look. She put on her best innocent expression then started using her hand to mock the man. That got a half smirk out of Elrond. So the man did have a sense of humor.

Veronica gave her sister a fierce look, apparently she didn't have a sense of humor. She glared at Samantha for a few more minutes until Legolas jumped up and made the deceleration that Aragorn was king and must be appreciated.

"Gondor needs no king." Was the only thing Samantha heard. She glared at Boramier when he sat down, the man shifted away from her and she gave him a fanged smiled.

"I would rather be dead before I see the ring, in the hands of en elf! No one trust an elf!" Gimili proclaimed with a harsh tone in his voice.

Samantha and Veronica both suppressed a moan. This dwarf was about to single handedly start a all out war between a Wizard, Dwarves, Men, and Elves.

"I will take it!" Frodo shouted out, standing up and walking to the center of the room. Everyone fell silent when Frodo pronounced it again, "I will take the ring to Mordor...But I do not know the way." His eyes cast to the floor, suddenly a very shy hobbit.

People started to line up behind the hobbit. Samantha and Veronica where ready to opt out of helping, but the look Gandalf gave them convinced them otherwise. Samantha came up and gave the hobbit a smile, "Because me and my sister where abducted by a insane wizard, we will help you unless we die. In that case we won't be of much use."

Veronica covered her mouth and closed her eyes, her body shaking with laughter. She kicked her sister then stood behind them.

"Wait! We're coming too! Tying us up in a sack couldn't stop us!" Merry said as he placed himself next to Frodo.

"Anyways, you need people of intelligence for this mission...quest...thing." Pippin said, trying to look important.

"Well, that leaves you out Pip." Merry said with a sarcastic smile.

"You will be the fellowship of the ring!" Elrond said as if it was supposed to mean something to the earthlings.

"Great! Where are we going?" Pippin asked, raising an eyebrow. Everyone looked at Pippin with disturbed expressions.

* * *

Soon they started off. Samantha trudged by the pony again, ranting away to it, "Being with animals is far more useful then being with people! I mean, what can they do? Give you sympathy? Nooo, no sympathy for the wicked." She was ranting because of her previous argument with Legolas. She had confided in the elf about how she missed her mother, thinking that she might get some sympathy. He just got a funny smirk and ruffled her hair, which caused him to get punched.

So they where not on friendly terms at the moment.

Veronica was by Aragorn, like usual. She and the older man talked a lot about issues that would remain black and white to them. Veronica would look over her shoulder every once in a while to check on her sister, but she usually looked forward.

Legolas kept a good distance from both girls. The youngest one seemed to be very temperamental and the oldest was very sarcastic.

Pippin stayed by Samantha, he felt bad for his friend. A argument with a elf and then she punched the elf then she had to run from several elves. Apparently elf princelings have something like the Secret Service. She had to tip toe around for quite some time.


	9. Chapter 9

The Fellowship of the Morons

By Samhoku

**Disclaimer: I do not own this story. The only people I own are myself and my sister. I am trying to keep this realistic as my sister and I are not fangirls.  
**

**Reviewers: Thank you for reviewing. :) I love feedback, it helps me with the story.  
**

**What I have been up to: I watched the How to Train your Dragon teaser trailer. The second one. It looks cool from what I can see, but I hope it still has the humor.**

Chapter

When they got to the rock face Samantha sat down and then placed herself by the dwarf. Gimili was good company, he was much more willing to be kind to you. Sure, he was a bit rough around the edges, but he had a funny sense of humor.

Legolas made sure that he was standing on a rock a little ways away from Samantha, he wasn't going to risk getting slugged again. He was staring very intently at a black whisp that was coming towards them. Samantha dove underneath a rock and everyone looks at her weird. Legolas hadn't even said anything yet.

"What are you doing, lass?" Gimli asked with slight confusion in his voice. He ducked his head only to see a look of terror over her face, "Lass?"

Samantha smiled at the dwarf and the look of terror left, "I am doing well. Just those Carbien or whatever they are should be here any moment and I would like to hide before all the good spots are taken."

Gandalf looked at Samantha with a look that one could only describe as annoyance. She was supposed to help, not become a hindrance. And if Legolas was constantly avoiding her it could become one.

Veronica suddenly realized what it was just seconds before Legolas shouted out the ridiculously complected name for the birds. Veronica dove under the same rock with her sister and crushed her arm. Samantha bit her lip to keep from yelling and possibly cursing at her sister.

Everyone else hid after putting out the fire. Samantha wanted to yell at them for even making a fire, the critters would know that they had just been their seconds ago. And it wasn't like the birds wouldn't just stick around and wait to see what they would and wouldn't do.

After the birds went over Gandalf said the mountain's name that they would be going over. Samantha was less then pleased, she didn't want to climb a mountain! She had a hard enough time breathing as it was. And that mountain was covered in snow! What did they think they where made out of? Fur? Blankets? Sheep?

Gandalf gave both girls a heavy coat and then raised an eyebrow at Samantha. Right, the wizard could read minds. Samantha put on her coat then she looked at her sister, "At least these are not made out of Orc skin."

Veronica's face got a little green as she put on the coat. She glared at her sister's devilish smile and whacked her in the shoulder, obviously not appreciating the idea.

They where on the beginning part of the mountain when Frodo fell and the ring came off his neck.

"Boramier! Give the ring to Frodo." Aragorn said, eying the other man with his hand on his sword. Veronica's eyes got big then she focused on the mountain past Boramier.

Samantha trudged past them and managed to catch up with Gimili and Legolas, "Wait for me, Princling and Dwarf friend." They both stopped and allowed the younger girl to catch up. She was too tired to be annoyed and she wasn't enjoying trudging through the snow, "Have you people never heard of snowshoes?"

"What are snowshoes?" Gimili asked with question marks in his eyes.

"Snowshoes are something shaped like a teardrop with a grid in the middle like this." Samantha drew it in the snow then continued to explain, "And you can walk on top of the snow like the elf prince here. They are quite useful where I come from."

Pippin said wistfully as he caught up to them, "I certainly wish that I had these snowshoes. They would be wonderful."


	10. Chapter 10

The Fellowship of the Morons

By Samhoku

**Disclaimer: I do not own this story. The only people I own are myself and my sister. I am trying to keep this realistic as my sister and I are not fangirls.  
**

**Reviewers: Thank you for reviewing. :) I love feedback, it helps me with the story.  
**

**Apology: There is a huge time skip here.  
**

Chapter

"How about we don't?" Samantha asked the dwarf with irritation, she was past caring now. Gandalf and Sarumen had been yelling at the mountain for 15 minutes and some snow had fallen on them and now the dwarf was wanting to go through the mine of death.

"We will go through the mines." Frodo announced and Samantha almost growled at the hobbit. She would much rather trudge over the mountain then go face the creature of doom.

When they walked down and saw the door they all got a funny awe inspired look on their face. Now that Samantha was seeing it for herself she could see why everyone looked so amazed. Veronica looked around at everyone then sat down, knowing they would be their for a while. When Gandalf started leaning on the door and trying to push it open with force Samantha sat down by her sister, putting her head on her knee and starting to doze off.

Veronica eventually moved her leg and Samantha gave her sister a fierce glare before scooting over to Gimili and setting her head on his arm, falling asleep. The dwarf had no idea how to handle this so he held very still. Legolas gave the dwarf a smirk and said to him, "Looks like you have made a friend."

Gimili muttered, "Sush, the lass is asleep." He felt bad for the girls. Veronica was dozing off and then waking back up. Samantha was unnaturally pale and her breathing was uneven. Gandalf had mentioned something called Asthma, a problem with breathing. A sickness that they didn't have here.

Gandalf looked at Veronica and said to the older girl, "You can sleep, child." Veronica was happy to hear that and she curled up next to the rock and fell into a light sleep.

After about an hour everyone was awake again. Samantha had her natural color back and Veronica was happy again. Frodo stood up and looked at the engraving over the door, "What is the elvish word for friend?"

Gandalf said the word and the doors opened. Gimili chuckled along with Gandalf. The dwarf was very happy, maybe he would see his family! Samantha felt horrible, she knew he wouldn't see his family. Well, in a way he would see them, but not in a way the dwarf would like.

Veronica stayed by the hobbits, remembering this part. Merry and Pippin had disturbed the water, now Frodo would be attacked by a crazy squid from nightmares beyond.

Gimili looked around and made a ear splitting yell that could only come from a grieving dwarf. Legolas pulled a arrow out of one of the dwarves, "Orcs!"

"We should never have come here, get out! Get out!" Boramier said, hustling the hobbits out the door. Suddenly the creature grabbed both Frodo and Veronica. Veronica screamed like no tomorrow and it dropped her, deciding it wasn't worth it. He would eat the quieter creature.

Samantha picked up her bow and managed to miss the large creature. Legolas slowly looked at the tiny girl in disbelief, "How could you miss that?"

Samantha snapped at the elf, "Just shoot the thing and get it over with!" She poked the elf in the ribs then yanked her sister to her feet, pushing her through the door to the cave, "Get in there!" Then she grabbed the other three hobbits and had them get in. They all got in and then they realized they where buried.

"Can someone turn on the light?"

"Who said that?"

"Samantha, the light cannot be turned on. Veronica, that was your sister." Legolas said very dryly.


	11. Chapter 11

The Fellowship of the Morons

By Samhoku

**Disclaimer: I do not own this story. The only people I own are myself and my sister. I am trying to keep this realistic as my sister and I are not fangirls.  
**

**Reviewers: Thank you for reviewing. :) I love feedback, it helps me with the story.  
**

**Apology: This is fuzzy too.  
**

Chapter

Gandalf put a light on his big stick and Samantha teased Legolas, "See, a light can be turned on! You intelligent elf prince." Legolas glared at Samantha then looked at Gimili.

Gimili shook with contained laughter. Soon everyone became very quiet and grave as Gandalf led the way through Moria. They got to the funny spot and Gandalf said, "I have no memory of this place."

"I say that when my mom cleans my room."

Everyone looked at Samantha and she held up her hands in surrender, "Sorry, don't kill me."

They all sat down and they heard the hobbits talking.

"Merry..."

"What?"

"...I'm hungry..."

Veronica said sarcastically, "My name is Friday, it is nice to meet you Hungry."

Both hobbits looked at Veronica and Samantha said, "I am hungry too, Pippin, but there isn't much we can do about that right now."

Frodo looked over the edge and bolted over to Gandalf, saying stuff rapidly. Then Gandalf scolded the hobbit before sniffing the air. This wizard really had odd tendencys.

Samantha looked over the edge and saw Gollum. She got a evil grin and she did Gollum's voice perfectly. The creature down below stood up and looked around, sniffing the air. She had made him confused.

Gandalf whispered harshly, "Samantha!" He beckoned her over, "No one knows about that yet."

Samantha tilted her head and grinned, "So?"

"Don't do it."

"Aye aye, captain!" Samantha saluted and walked back over to the hobbits, plopping herself down next to Pippin.

"Ah! Its that way." Gandalf said with pleasure in his voice.

"He remembers!" Merry said with joy all through his voice, he rushed to stand up and follow Gandalf. But he stopped to help Pippin pull Samantha up, she was having trouble getting off the ground.

"No, the air is just not so fine down here." Gandalf led the way through the hole. Suddenly they came out to a huge hall. Everyone looked around in amazement.

Gimili made a grieving noise and ran for a little doorway. "Gimili!" Gandalf yelled urgently. They needed to get out of here, not to linger.

They all followed the dwarf in and looked at the grave of Balin. Samantha suddenly held in a sob, Balin was one of her favorite people when they traveled with Bilbo. Veronica made her eyes go blank and she sat down, setting her head on her knees. Samantha patted Gimili's shoulder in a act of comfort, she did like Gimili as much as she liked Balin.

They all heard a crash and everyone looks at Pippin. Pippin had a, 'oh crap' expression plastered of his face. He knew he would have to suffer the wrath of Gandalf.

"Fool of a Took! Throw yourself in next time and rid us of your stupidity!" Gandalf snatched his hat and staff back from the hobbit and was giving him the evil eye as he turned away. They heard the drums.

Doom

Doom

Doom

Why did the drums sound like doom? That didn't make any sense to Samantha, but that is what it sounded like. Boremier and Aragorn ran to the door and an arrow flew at them. Boramier had gotten a good look at the cave troll, "They have a cave troll."

Aragorn, Legolas, and Boramier barricaded the door then Aragorn herded the hobbits by Gandalf, "Stay back! Stay close to Gandalf!"

Samantha got out her bow and notched an arrow, now that she had been able to use it a little more...Maybe she would actually be able to hit her target.

Veronica had gotten out her throwing knives and had climbed up a pillar, she was doing deep breathing so that way she wouldn't pass out.

The first Orc had gotten shot and then the war was beginning.


	12. Chapter 12

The Fellowship of the Morons

By Samhoku

**Disclaimer: I do not own this story. The only people I own are myself and my sister. I am trying to keep this realistic as my sister and I are not fangirls.  
**

**Reviewers: Thank you for reviewing. :) I love feedback, it helps me with the story.  
**

Chapter

The Orc made a screaming noise when it was shot by Legolas and Samantha yelled at it, "Screaming will not save you!"

"Samantha! Keep your humor to yourself!" Aragorn snapped as he notched another arrow and sent it flying into the orcs. Samantha saluted again and when the doors opened she released the arrow then grabbed another one out and shot another Orc before switching to fighting for her life.

Veronica's knife caught one of the Orcs in the head sent it on the ground then Samantha kicked it in the side before fleeing when another Orc came after her. She didn't have time to fight the Orc. Frodo was being chased by the Cave Troll.

Veronica killed the other Orc that was chasing her sister then jumped down and started keeping herself between the fallen Aragorn and the other Orcs. She didn't want her friend to be eaten.

Samantha discovered something about her bow. You could cut throats with it. That was on an accident, she had held up her bow and beheaded an Orc on mistake. It gave Samantha enough time to grab her sword out and put her bow away. She had no clue how to use this thing, but she guessed it was mainly for hacking. Pretty sword fighting is mainly for show, people don't normally take turns with trying to hack each other to death.

Veronica knelt down by Aragorn once the Orcs decided it wasn't worth it and shook him, "Aragorn! Wake up! Frodo is gonna be hurt!" She finally decided, heck with the ranger! If he wanted to be knocked out cold then he could remain so.

Everyone looked in time to see Frodo get stabbed by the Cave Troll. Pippin and Merry went the craziest, they attacked the cave troll while everyone else made their way over to Frodo. Samantha went and sat by Sam, patting the hobbit's back, "Its okay, Gamgee."

Aragorn looked shocked when he saw that Frodo was fine. He said something that Samantha couldn't decipher. Veronica gave Frodo the biggest hug in the world before backing up and allowing them to see what kept them safe.

"Methril..." Gimili said in awe, then he smiled with pride and said to Frodo, "You are full of surprises, Master Baggins."

They heard the screeching of Hobgoblins and they all ran for the back door. They got to about the middle of the room when they found themselves surrounded by Hobgoblins. Samantha, Legolas, and Aragorn all had the bows out and where pointing them out. Gandalf stuck his brown stick out randomly and the goblins stopped as if it where their boundry.

Suddenly a roar came and all of the heads snapped in the direction of the noise. The hobgoblins looked nervous then ran away making squeaking noises.

"What type of Devilry is this?" Borimier asked with nervousness in his voice. Downright fear would have been an appropriate reaction.

"A Belrog. RUN!" Gandalf said and they all took off through the hallways with the creature following them. They hit the stairs and Borimier almost ran over the edge. Legolas grabbed the man and hoisted him back unto solid ground.

"Lead the way Aragorn, the bridge is near." Gandalf said breathlessly, when Aragorn went to charge to where the Belrog was, Gandalf threw him back in a strength none of them had seen before, "Do as I say! Swords are of no more use here."


	13. Chapter 13

The Fellowship of the Morons

By Samhoku

**Disclaimer: I do not own this story. The only people I own are myself and my sister. I am trying to keep this realistic as my sister and I are not fangirls.  
**

**Reviewers: Thank you for reviewing. :) I love feedback, it helps me with the story.  
**

Chapter

They made it almost half way across when the rocks fell and trapped some of them on separate rocks. A bunch of people jumped over, but Samantha was thrown across by Aragorn. Boramier caught her and set her down before she could smack him. She wasn't in the best of moods. Veronica jumped on her toes for a few moments before chickening out and Aragorn threw her across. Gandalf and Legolas both made sure Veronica was on her feet. The rock landed right on the back of where Frodo and Aragorn where.

"Lean forward!" Aragorn said with urgency, the hobbit instantly obeyed. The rock went forward and they jumped, being caught by the group. One could almost hear the Lord of the Rings music in the background. Actually...

Everyone looked at Samantha, she was humming a weird tune and running down the thing, going to the next bridge. Gandalf shooed them all on, to follow Samantha. Veronica started humming the Mission Impossible song and ducking behind things until she got to the bridge. Then she got on her hands and knees and crawled across the bridge, still humming the Impossible music.

Once they where all across Gandalf stopped right in the middle of the bridge and spun to meet his enemy, "You shall not pass!"

"Gandalf!" Frodo yelled, his voice and eyes full of distress.

"Turn back to the shadow." Gandalf said, squaring off with the creature, "The dark fire will ever fail you, Flame of Eunor! You Shall Not Pass!" He slammed the stick on the ground and the creature recoiled. It then took a step forward and started to fling its wip in the air. That one step made that part of the bridge collapse and the creature went down. Gandalf made a sigh of relief and then the creature got his leg, pulling him.

Frodo yelled, "Gandalf!" He lunged and tried to get to Gandalf, but Boramier held him back.

"Fly you fools." Gandalf said then he let go of the edge.

"GANDALF YOU IDIOT! YOU ABDUCT US THEN LEAVE?!" Samantha yelled at the top of her lungs and Veronica pushed her sister out the other way.

"Sissy, we need to go now. You can't stay here all day and yell at Gandalf!" Veronica said gently and with sadness.

Everyone fled the area then sat around on the rocks. People where crying and Frodo had left the group. Samantha saw that the hobbit had done this, but she didn't think anything of it. She went to her two hobbit friends and gave Merry a hug then patted Pippin's head, "Its okay Pip. Everything will be okay." Merry shouldn't have to be the strong one. They where only still kids in Hobbit years.

Samantha gave both her favorite hobbits a hug then looked around for her sister, "Veronica?"

"Frodo?"

"Jinks!"

"What?" Aragorn looked at Samantha with a funny expression and she gave him a sheepish smile, muttering 'never mind.'


	14. Chapter 14

The Fellowship of the Morons

By Samhoku

**Disclaimer: I do not own this story. The only people I own are myself and my sister. I am trying to keep this realistic as my sister and I are not fangirls.  
**

**Reviewers: Thank you for reviewing. :) I love feedback, it helps me with the story.  
**

Chapter

As they walked across the field to Lothlorian it occurred to Veronica that they would be coming into the woods soon. She looked at Gimili and said, "Now, when we get in these woods you need to be quieter then a dust bunny."

Gimili gave the girl a funny look, "A dust bunny, lass? What is a dust bunny?" He shook his head at her. As they walked through their golden leaves where falling and sparkles where around them.

Samantha muttered, "No wonder the pastors wife thinks that they are fairies. It kind of looks like fairy land." She crossed her eyes when an arrow pointed at her face. Then she focused on the elf and tried to give him a friendly smile. When he didn't return it she said to Legolas, "If these guys are your friends, then why are they pointing deadly weapons at us?"

Legolas gave her a look that spoke volumes. He wanted her to be quiet, they where walking on dangerous ground.

The weird elf dude looked at Frodo then led the way to the creepy lady.

All of them stood before Galadriel and where amazed. The women was beautiful and very elegant. She looked at the girls then tilted her head, not speaking to them at all. She seemed to know they where uncomfortable in her presence.

They went and sat down. Legolas heard the mourning of the elves and shook his head, saying something to the hobbits. Samantha set her head on her knees and allowed herself to cry. When Gimili asked her what was wrong she sobbed, "The stupid wizard abducted us then decided to let go into an abyss."

Aragorn shook his head and held in a smile. They where supposed to be serious, but when Samantha talked like that it made it very hard to remain so.

Veronica was practically asleep, Pippin had snuggled up to her side and was snoring lightly. Samantha wished she had her camera so she could take a picture.

Merry had fallen asleep with his head on Samantha's lap and she was dozing, her back against one of the trees. She could sleep anywhere. Literally.

When Frodo sneaked away, no one noticed. No one was supposed to notice. The girls could come and help in Middle Earth, but they couldn't really change what would happen. They could only prolong it.


	15. Chapter 15

The Fellowship of the Morons

By Samhoku

**Disclaimer: I do not own this story. The only people I own are myself and my sister. I am trying to keep this realistic as my sister and I are not fangirls.  
**

**Reviewers: Thank you for reviewing. :) I love feedback, it helps me with the story.  
**

Chapter

Galadriel had given out gifts to everyone in the company. Galadriel gave Veronica an healing cordial and explained, "It cannot heal death wounds, only light ones, but it will help with infections." Veronica nodded and gave the elf women a hug, not caring when all the other elves acted as if it where against the law the hug the elf women. Galadriel patted Veronica's back then gently moved away.

Next the elf women gave Samantha a elvish blade, "This is lighter to carry then the blade you carry now." Galadriel gave her a kind smile and Samantha saluted and gave the women a goofy grin before going back with her friends. They all loaded into the boats and Veronica and Samantha had their own. They could only fit so many people in each boat.

Samantha and her sister went in circles around the area they where in for a few moments before finally directing the boat in the right direction. It took a little while but they where able to follow the others. They heard the waterfall and had to get to shore.

Legolas's head kept snapping around as if he where trying to see something in the woods. Samantha couldn't help but crack a joke, "Your head seems to be having a few difficulties."

Legolas shot a glare over his shoulder at her and they all got to the beach. For punishment Legolas made Samantha pull the boat up herself, which she did. He didn't think she would have been able to do it.

They all sat down to rest and Veronica saw Legolas say something to Aragorn. She exchanged an concerned expression with her sister, they remembered this part. Borimier would die.

"Where is Boramier?" Samantha asked just as Merry asked where Frodo was.

Everyone looked at where Boramier had been sitting and everyone also became very concerned. Samantha jumped up and ran into the woods calling out for both people.

Veronica followed soon after and her voice sounded a bit more calmer then Samantha's.

* * *

"Borimier you moron!" Samantha was standing over the fallen man and yelling at him, "You scared Frodo away! You vowed you would take care of him!"

The man stood up and almost knocked the girl over on accident, "I am sorry, I didn't mean to..." Borimier rubbed his face, "What will Aragorn do to me?"

Samantha looked and saw Orcs, "Maybe we want to see the other hobbits first." They both looked at each other then bolted to where they heard Merry and Pippin being a distraction.

"Its working!" Pippin cheered and Merry scolded his cousin, both making a mad break for it.

Borimier jumped on the first Orc and placed himself in between himself and the hobbits. Samantha was scoping out a tree to climb into to use her bow when an Orc came at her and she swung the sword up, chopping off its head.

It seemed like hours, but only after a few moments Borimier started blowing the horn and she knew that a whole bunch of people would come running. Soon Borimier was being filled with arrows.

The Hobbits where kidnapped and Samantha had to hide in the tree. She flinched and covered her ears when each arrow went in, blinking rapidly to keep from crying. This Orc was taking his time.


	16. Chapter 16

The Fellowship of the Morons

By Samhoku

**Disclaimer: I do not own this story. The only people I own are myself and my sister. I am trying to keep this realistic as my sister and I are not fangirls.  
**

**Reviewers: Thank you for reviewing. :) I love feedback, it helps me with the story.  
**

Chapter

It seemed almost as if Aragorn had jumped out of nowhere on the Orc. They fought for a few minutes and Aragorn killed the Orc. Samantha scrambled down out of the tree and sat down at the base of the tree, burying her face in her knees. She hadn't seen her sister in hours and it was scaring her. If she couldn't find her sister then who knows what happened to her.

Aragorn kissed Borimier's forehead and then looked at Samantha, "It is alright." They all ran down to the beach in time to see 1 tall female figure disappearing into the woods with two hobbits.

"Is my sister INSANE? Mordor? Afrahsmiagnahia." Samantha said something that sounded very garbled after the first few words and then she looked at Legolas as he started to push the Canoe into the water. Aragorn shook his head and said something.

"Then let it all be in Vain." Gimili said gloomily and he looked at the ground.

"No. We will not allow for Merry and Pippin to be tortured in Prison. Lets go hunt some Orc." Aragorn said, looking from one person to the next. Samantha grinned and followed Aragorn, making an insane laugh.

Gimili said with joy, "YESS!" He followed Samantha and Aragorn and Legolas was close behind them, "Attack!" Gimili said, even though they where no where close to attacking someone at the moment.

* * *

Veronica followed Frodo and Sam through the woods in the general direction of Mordor. She missed her sister already, but she had to keep track of the hobbits. She knew Legolas, Gimili, and Aragorn wouldn't let anything happen to Samantha within their power. But there was no one to protect the hobbits, so she took it upon herself to watch after them. If Aragorn couldn't, then she would take up his vow.

If in life or death, she can protect them, she will.


End file.
